A painful and lesser known kind of the human ego

The most well-known form of ego is the classic, ie the ego that is self-absorbed and arrogant, but for many it comes as a surprise that this kind of ego is by far the least widespread.

This essay will soon be available as Podcast too. Please subscribe to newsletter to get a notification.

In other words, there is a kind of ego that is far more common, but that is very rarely talked about.

The reason for this is because the classic form of ego is generally extremely noisy and therefore ‘drowns out’ the far lesser known but far more prevalent form of ego: the self-destructive ego.

Where the classic form of ego is a nuisance to other people in general, the self-destructive ego is primarily a nuisance to its own “host”.

How the self-destructive ego works

The self-destructive ego is a frightened ego, it is an unhappy ego, a depressed ego, a frustrated ego, etc., etc. and the reason for this is ignorance, or in other words, the human beings deep ignorance of its own true nature.

This message is not easy to communicate to the self-destructive ego, because it will almost always automatically hear what I am pointing to here, as if there is something wrong with it. It will feel guilty, and simply continue the series of negativity that it is already caught by.

But I am not saying that there is anything wrong with the self-destructive ego, all I am saying is – that it is painful and that it is unnecessary.

It is thus possible to step out of these self-destructive habits, but the first step always hurts, because it is a decision to be 100% honest with oneself, and thereby directly recognize what it is that is unfolding, in oneself . That is, to see through the automatic processes that take place in the mind.

For the self-destructive ego, this means that one must be willing to see how, through one’s own direct observation, one almost consistently “elevates” ordinary life challenges to be problems and adversity on an excessive level, and then upon this observation, a willingness to acknowledge that it is these interpretations that one feel challenged by.

A lack of willingness to accept that recognition will mean that one as a human being is in a continuous battle with these interpretations, ie in a continuous battle with oneself.

The self-destructive ego is not able to see this. It is 100% certain that what it encounters is life itself that wants to “punish”, and that it is deeply unreasonable what is happening, thereby making itself an unhappy victim.

This kind of ego is typically “obsessed” with details, and unable to see “the big picture”, and thus it can not see that what it is fighting with is itself – its own interpretations and completely automatic conclusions. On the other hand, when you see “the big picture”, you discover that everything you encounter on your way are just the real and inevitable consequences of being a living human being.

The self-destructive ego thus takes “ownership” over a mass over which it has no real power, and it seeks control but never achieves it, and is unable to realize that everything the ego tries to control will control the ego….

Denial perpetuates the illusion as well as the fact that we are in a culture that contains a collective self-maintaining denial/confirmation of the illusion.

But ultimately, the self-destructive ego contains its own “doom”. It is only a matter of how long it refuses to face the truth. In the end, the pain will be of such a magnitude that the struggle reveals itself as the illusion as it is.

Not wrong but painful

This is very important to understand. The pain is inevitable because the ego at its core is separation. A separation from the source of life itself and thus a deep experience of being alone and exposed.

The self-destructive ego seeks in every way to find a way to remedy this separation, but it cannot be done because it is the separation itself that seeks relief.

The separation arises as a result of the self-destructive ego building a conceptual reality, a mentally created image of how the world should/ought to be like, and how it itself should/ought to look and behave like, and afterwards the ego then tries to impose the world and itself on this picture.

The psychological pain arises because the ego does not recognize that the image it is trying to impose on the world is an illusion, ie a fiction and therefore this illusory “image” is exposed to a continuous threat of collapse, which leads to a relentless work of trying to hold this fiction together.

When you live like this, then there is absolutely no end to this struggle and you will never reach a place where you experience peace.

This is what has to be acknowledged. When that happens, then there is a potential opening, and this opening can then potentially lead to a person being seized by a deeply felt desire to surrender to the Truth.

Through this surrender, the separation between man and realities ceases, and thereby the self-destructive ego ceases.

With love HC

painful lesser known ego

Scroll to top